December 15,2022

Dating someone who is two to five years older than you would not raise as many eyebrows for either gender, but when it gets to 10-20 years then it can be a bit unsettling.

Many Nigerian couples date/marry older or younger persons. Recently, half of the P-Square duo, Paul Okoye was in the news for dating a 22-year-old and Regina Daniel’s husband is four decades older than her.

You can love or be in a relationship with someone who is older or younger than you if there is mutual love and respect, but here’s why it gets tricky.

The relationship is unbalanced

These sugar daddy or gigolo relationships are mostly transactional and not based on love, as you would imagine. While the older person props their ego with the idea of being with a younger person, the younger person hopes to get money, fame and exposure. It’s never a meeting of like-minded people or equals.

Manipulation

The age gap might leave room for manipulation. The older person may use age and wisdom to control the other while the younger person might use naivety and presumed innocence as a means of control. Either way, someone will be getting manipulated.

It can seem paedophilic

Targeting a particular age range, especially younger people can hinge very close to paedophilia especially when they are just out of the cusps of childhood like 18 and 19-year-olds. It is worse in situations where you are their first sexual experience.

Different world views

The generational gap will affect how you both see the world and if one person wants to be hip and happening or old and ancient, it will cause a rift.

These are just some reasons why it’s unsettling to see a wide age gap among couples.